i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
