Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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