Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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