Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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