i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my poor anus
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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