is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
