She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
