Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
