Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
