do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
