ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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