Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
