You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
