In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
