i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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