what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
