This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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