Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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