sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
