I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
