I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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