This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
