It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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