I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
