it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
