Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
