oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
