Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
