I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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