ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
