i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
