do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize