you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
