The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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