i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize