guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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