Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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