You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
