TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
