I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
