got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
