My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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