I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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