oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
