I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
