Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
