Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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