Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
