All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
