Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
