we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
