There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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