Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
