You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
