New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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