i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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