he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
