YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
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I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
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While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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