READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize