Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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