This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize