I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize